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“So is her name Betty, or Betsy?”

“I think it’s Betsy. You know, short for Elizabeth.”

“Elizabeth? I’ve never met a Betsy that was short for Elizabeth.”

“All Betsys and Bettys are Elizabeths. Same with Beths. And Lizas. And, indirectly, perhaps even Lisas.”

“I never knew that.”

“Kinda weird, I know. It’s like, ‘Hi, I’m Maximilian. But you can just call me Larry.'”

(Pause.) “You know what I’ve never understood? How Richard becomes Dick.”

“I know. I guess they didn’t get the memo.”

How do they get Dick from Richard? Amazing. I don’t get it.”

“The better question is why. It’s like, ‘Hi, I’m Richard. Technically, I suppose you can call me Richard, or Rich for short. Other possible options would be Rick, or even Ricky. Hell, we could even shake things up and go with Chard. But, if I had my druthers, I would prefer that you — and the rest of the world, for that matter — just go ahead and refer to me as Dick. Thanks.'”

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