Poor schmuck.

When I was a young lad, I read a short story called “Flight” and never forgot about it. For the last thirty years or so I’ve been hunting this story down, asking around, trying to find the author’s name so that I might obtain a copy of it again.

It was one of the most kick-ass pieces of writing I can ever remember reading. Ever. The story moved me like none other, likely due to my age at the time. It’s the story about how a boy turns into a man, and the price he ultimately pays for it. A coming-of-age tale; our hero, Pepe Torres, “accidentally” (I loved the implications that it was otherwise) murders a man with his throwing knife while running an errand for his widowed mother. Fearing for her son’s life, the mother scrambles to pack him some jerky and his father’s coat, sending him into the mountains with his horse to flee for his life before the bloodthirsty mob comes looking for him.

The story chronicles Pepe’s doomed flight into the mountains with his captors in pursuit, taking place over the course of a few days. The writer took me deep into this kid’s head as he battled the elements, hunger, injury, exhaustion, fear, and thirst. It was a classic story of survival at its most basic level. And it had an ending that was so tragic, I’ll never forget it. I remember being in awe of its beauty. This was no fairy tale. It’s very possible that this particular story is the first piece of work responsible for shaping my taste for tragedy. It clued me in to the dark side of story endings. There’s nothing quite like a good tragedy, when written well.

Anyhow, thanks to the resources we have at our fingertips in 2007, I did some Googling and found my story. It was written in 1938 by a guy by the name of John Steinbeck. I guess you know good writing when you read it. Even if you’re only nine years old.

So, when you have a few minutes, meet my buddy, Pepe. His journey will take you somewhere. A verified classic, “Flight”, by John Steinbeck: [click to continue…]

One night in 1990 I headed down with a buddy to check out a comedian named Jim Carrey at a local place called the Comedy Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, California. At that point, Carrey was best known as the white guy on a predominantly black show called In Living Color, a sketch comedy show on Fox’s Sunday night primetime lineup in the vein of Saturday Night Live. It would still be a few years before he blew the door wide open with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

I’d seen Jim Carrey for a few years on cable TV shows in the late eighties, and was pretty familiar with his impressions. Hilarious guy. Very physical. A facial contortionist. This dude’s mug was like rubber, and could do uncanny impressions of guys like Clint Eastwood, Jimmy Stewart, etc. Jim Carrey was a cult classic in the stand-up comedy scene.

I’ll never forget his set. THE DUDE WAS A MADMAN. Very physical; he must’ve gone on non-stop for about two hours. He was soaked by the time he was done, and I couldn’t believe he didn’t break any bones. My bro and I sat up near the front, and cheered him on the whole time. Being rabid fans of his work on In Living Color, we were one of the first members of the Fire Marshall Bill following, which I can vividly remember at that point had only appeared on ILC about two times. Being only about two weeks new, Fire Marshall Bill was fairly obscure, even to some of the bigger Jim Carrey fans. If you hadn’t caught the show in a couple weeks, you would have never heard of FMB yet.

Sometime during the set, Jim mentioned that he was “known for his impressions”, which got the knowing crowd in an uproar. He then said he was open to requests, and people began yelling out the obvious ones: “Do Michael Landon!” “Do William Shatner!” And so forth. I yelled at the top of my lungs “DO FIRE MARSHALL BILL!!!!”

I can remember feeling that I was one of about three people in that room who knew who Fire Marshall Bill was. But Jim laughed, and acknowledged the request out of the corner of his eye. “Fire Marshall Bill, okay…gotcha…”

He then launched into a montage for a few minutes, doing the cult favorites. Then he asked a gal down front if she had any matches. She did. Without stuttering, Carrey lit a match and continued on talking about whatever he was talking about, and then, slowly, his top lip went up to expose his top teeth. The rest of his face followed, slowly morphing into the Fire Marshall Bill face.

I swear to God I’ve never laughed harder in my life. I’ve probably laughed as hard since, but never harder. It was one of the most lasting and physically draining guffaws a person could ever experience. It was heaven.

A classic Fire Marshall Bill skit, which probably aired the weekend before I saw the live Carrey gig:

In the final play of Trinity vs. Millsaps last year, Trinity was down by two points with 60 yards to go and two seconds left on the clock. The rest, as they say, is history. Here’s how it was done. Genius.

And here’s the actual play, executed to perfection:

I forgot I posted this last year until a YouTube user emailed me about it recently. A classic; a kid at a basketball game makes a run to the bathroom just before the buzzer. Keep an eye on our little blonde buddy. Most people find it difficult not to watch this one over and over and over and over…

Starting in 2007, daylight time began in the United States on the second Sunday of March and ended last week on the first Sunday in November. On the second Sunday in March, clocks were set ahead one hour at 2:00 a.m. local standard time, which bacame 3:00 a.m. local daylight time. On the first Sunday this November, clocks were set back one hour at 2:00 a.m. local daylight time, which became 1:00 a.m. local standard time. These dates were established by the Energy Policy Act of 2005.

Not all places in the U.S. observe daylight time. In particular, Hawaii and most of Arizona do not use it. Indiana adopted its use beginning in 2006.

In 2007, daylight time ended on November 4. In 2008, daylight time begins on March 9 and ends on November 2.

Many other countries observe some form of “summer time,” but they do not necessarily change their clocks on the same dates as the U.S.

That said, be sure you punctuate properly:

— eastern standard time (no caps); EST
— central daylight time; CDT
— mountain standard time; MST
— Pacific daylight time; PDT
— Greenwich mean time; GMT
— daylight saving time (not savings)

Taken from the roof level of a parking structure in Hermosa Beach, California. I’m no fan of people who vandalize public property, but I’ve always loved double meanings expressed. Think about this one awhile.

Chess Boxing — a new sport combining brute force and brainpower — is taking Germany by storm, writes Steve Rosenberg.

I think they may be onto something with this. Kung Fu Scrabble, anyone?

I stopped by the park recently to catch a mid-day power nap for about thirty minutes. Perfect day for it; a crispy Fall day with just enough warm sunshine to eliminate the need for a sweater. With the whole park to myself (or so I thought), I stretched out on the park bench, closed the eyes, and drifted off…

Just as I’m getting to the more interesting parts of the thoughts my brain was purging, I hear a loud rustling coming form the palm tree towering above me. I look up to see a squirrel coming out of his hideaway. Without getting up, I snapped these shots with the cell phone, taken from nap-angle.