RELATED: The Binary Floor and stuff.
Part 1 of 3:
It may be said with a degree of assurance that not everything that meets the eye is as it appears… This is the crux of our story, a flight into space… It is also the story of the things that might happen to human beings who take a step beyond, unable to anticipate everything that might await them out there.
Sending in the second installment for my property taxes right now. The printed statement from the Los Angeles County Tax Collector includes the following instructions:
1. DETACH AND MAIL THIS STUB WITH YOUR 2ND INSTALLMENT PAYMENT.
2. DO NOT INCLUDE NOTES WITH YOUR PAYMENT.
3. DO NOT STAPLE, TAPE OR CLIP PAYMENT STUB OR CHECK.
Let’s take a moment to examine #3 above. Now, you and I as thinking people with the ability to subconsciously take a mess of words and reassemble them into a digestible thought can reasonably conclude that #3 means:
3. When mailing all this shit back, do not to include staples, tape, or clips of any kind. And by the way, don’t forget to put the payment stub and check in the envelope!
But that’s not what it says now, is it? Again:
3. DO NOT STAPLE, TAPE OR CLIP PAYMENT STUB OR CHECK.
Without that serial comma after TAPE, #3 is arguably telling us:
3. Do not staple anything! Instead, tape or clip either the payment stub or the check. Your choice.
Idiots. Better:
3. DO NOT STAPLE, TAPE, OR CLIP ANYTHING TO THE PAYMENT STUB OR CHECK.
