Hang in there; starts at 0:0:35. Also note that if you encounter silence, it’s because the song was removed. Skip along.

From Wikipedia:

The Star Wars Holiday Special is a 1978 American television film set in the Star Wars galaxy. It stars the series’ first film’s main cast while introducing the character Boba Fett, who would appear in later films. It is one of the first official Star Wars spin-offs and was directed by Steve Binder. The show was broadcast in its entirety only once, in the United States, on Friday, November 17, 1978 (the week before Thanksgiving[1]), on the U.S. television network CBS from 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time (EST), pre-empting Wonder Woman and The Incredible Hulk; and on the Canadian television network CTV from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time.[2] It was also broadcast in New Zealand on TVNZ and in Australia on the Seven Network.

In the storyline that ties the special together, Chewbacca and Han Solo visit Kashyyyk, Chewbacca’s home world, to celebrate Life Day. They are pursued by agents of the Galactic Empire, who are searching for members of the Rebel Alliance on the planet. The special introduces three members of Chewbacca’s family: his father Itchy, his wife Malla and his son Lumpy, though these names were later explained to have been nicknames, their full names being Attichitcuk, Mallatobuck and Lumpawarrump, respectively.

During the special, scenes also take place in outer space and in spacecraft including the Millennium Falcon and an Imperial Star Destroyer. The variety-show segments and cartoon introduce a few other locales, such as a cantina on the desert planet of Tatooine and a gooey, reddish ocean planet known as Panna.

The program also features many other Star Wars characters, including Luke Skywalker, C-3PO, R2-D2, Darth Vader and Princess Leia (who sings the film’s “theme song”, set to the music of John Williams’ Star Wars theme, near the end). The program includes stock footage from Star Wars,[3] and also features a cartoon produced by Toronto-based Nelvana that officially introduces the bounty hunter Boba Fett.

The special is notorious for its extremely negative reception.[2] Anthony Daniels, in a documentary promoting the worldwide tour of Star Wars: In Concert, notes with a laugh that the Star Wars universe includes “The horrible Holiday Special that nobody talks about”. Nathan Rabin of the AV Club wrote, “I’m not convinced the special wasn’t ultimately written and directed by a sentient bag of cocaine.”[4] George Lucas did not have significant involvement with the film’s production and was reportedly unhappy with the results; however Patty Maloney (who played Lumpy) stated in 2008 that Lucas was sent “dailies” of each day’s shooting for approval.[5] David Acomba, a classmate of Lucas at USC film school, had been selected to direct the special, but he chose to leave the project, a decision supported by Lucas.

The Star Wars Holiday Special has never been rebroadcast or officially released on home video. It has therefore become something of a cultural legend, due to the “underground” quality of its existence. It has been viewed and distributed in off-air recordings made from its original telecast by fans, which were later adapted to content-sharing websites via the Internet.

Another Daily Distraction / Another Daily Habitual Distraction
by Jace Daniel (b. 1969)

Over medium heat, stir together until onions are soft. Add peppers, chopped tomatoes, and tomato sauce…

Still can’t believe it. Probably never will. The California drought. Abandoned swimming pools. One single goddamn mosquito. Perfect storm. Why do we even need to know what West Nile is? What is this, Africa? Unbelievable. Dumb luck doesn’t even describe it.

Simmer, stirring occasionally…

Speaking of disease, a handheld can opener might very well be the most unsanitary object known to man. Well, that and maybe a kitchen sponge.

Drain and rinse kidney beans. Add and cook to chili and cook an additional fifteen minutes. Stir occasionally.

I wonder if that file’s uploaded yet. Easy, turbo! What are you, an idiot? You’ll burn the house down if you don’t keep an eye on this stove. And you know you’ll forget.

iPhone -> Clock ->Timer -> 0 hours 3 minutes -> Start

Give it one good stir. Cover. Good for now. Rinse the wooden spoon and leave it. Flies and all that.

MacBook Pro -> DropBox -> Sync Status 68%… 69%…

Taking awhile. Probably should’ve flattened those files on the spreads. No matter.

New email. SUBJECT: “Funeral itinerary”

Hmm. Weather forecast says it might rain that day. And it’ll be cold. Down to 39 overnight. How appropriate. Ever stood at the edge of a six-foot-deep hole and looked straight down? It’s a lot deeper than you might think. Probably because it’s so narrow. And columnar.

BUZZ. BUZZZ. BUZZ. Incoming call: (818) XXX-XXXX

Burbank. Anybody I need to hear from in Burbank is already in my Contacts. Probably another carpet cleaning service. Or maybe a recruiter. I need to get off these lists. Hell, we don’t even have a carpet. Might as well answer. They’d call back anyway.

“Hello?”

“Hello, this is Frank. From the fence company.”

Well, hell. Cool. I almost forgot.

“Hey Frank. What’s up, man?”

“We’re outside. Here to finish putting on the side gate.”

Finally. That project’s been half-done for weeks now. It’s about time they come and finish the thing off.

“Cool. Hold on. Be right out.”

Save file, check. Slip on the Sanuks, check. Get the little dogs in the other room so they don’t run out the front door, check. Grab the house keys, check.

Frank stands out on the sidewalk with his assistant. Their company pickup in the driveway. A handsome new gate strapped to the roof, ready for installation. Seriously, damn. Looks gorgeous.

These guys look spent. Long day. Nice of them to try to squeeze us in an hour before sundown.

“Hey Frank! Sorry if I sounded short on the phone, man. I though you were a spammer.”

“Haha. No worries, bro. No worries.”

“You guys look like you’ve been busy.”

“Crazy-busy week. A good problem to have. How are things with you guys?”

Aw, man. Do I really want to get into it now? With a contractor? Might as well. We’d talked about Pop’s condition before. Frank deserves an update.

“My Dad died last week. It’s been pretty surreal.”

“Oh, man. Sorry, bro. I actually just heard about somebody else who got the same thing you were talking about. Mosquito bite. West Nile virus.”

A car drives up the street, hurrying about its business. Frank’s assistant unstraps the new gate from the truck and brings it down to the driveway.

“So are you guys able to finish up today?”

“Yeah, bro. Give us a couple hours. And hey, check out your new gate! Boss suggested doing it as redwood, but I talked him into doing it with the same wood as the front one. To match.”

And it does match. Looks fantastic. Same wood as the front gate they installed a month ago.

“Nice! What kind of wood is that, anyway?”

“It’s called Mangeris.”

I’ve never heard of a Mangeris tree.

“Mangeris. Where’s that come from?”

“It’s a brand name. They make fine woods for decks and fences –”

BUZZ. BUZZ. BUZZ. iPhone looking for attention in my pocket. It can wait. Probably just that carpet cleaning service, anyway.

“– the Mangeris stuff comes pretreated. Gonna last you thirty years. Unlike cheap redwood.”

“Killer. Thanks for taking care of that, Frank. You guys good here to get started? Can I get you some water?”

“Thanks, bro. Yeah, we’re good.”

“Cool. I’ll get you some water. Holler if you need anything. I’ll be working inside.”

“No worries.”

I go back inside. Wonder who called.

iPhone -> TIMER DONE

What’s that smell?

The story behind the making of “Star Wars: A New Hope”, the 1977 epic film which launched one of the most successful sagas of all time.

This TV special, the first ever Star Wars documentary, was hosted by C-3PO and R2-D2 and narrated by William Conrad, with appearances by George Lucas, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford.

Full title: “The Making of Star Wars …as told by C-3PO and R2-D2”.

Originally aired on September 16, 1977, on ABC.

Copyright Lucasfilm Ltd and 20th Century Fox Television, 1977.

The next Star Wars installment comes out in less than three weeks. For the digital papertrail, here’s what I believe needs to happen in order to bring this saga back from the dead, as the title itself seems to promise us.

DISCLAIMER: My predictions don’t matter, of course. The film’s written, shot, and cut. In the can, no matter what I think. This entry is not about placing bets on what happens next; it’s just my opinion about which direction to take this story — if there even is such a direction — and why it should be taken. So let’s back up a few years, sit around the table, and shoot spitballs against the wall to see what sticks.

SPITBALL: How about if Luke Skywalker has fallen from grace in the last 30+ years since we saw him. After restoring balance to the galaxy, he’s succumbed to the lure that’s always been beckoning. He’s now a villain.

There are at least a couple ways to do this. You could put him under the guise of Kylo Ren, using a Vaderesque non-Hamill voiceover until the helmet’s removed. Or, even better, as an emperor of sorts. A mastermind driven by the Dark Side of the Force, with Kylo Ren simply being one of his minions.

A dark Luke is something that seemed obvious to me immediately after noticing Luke’s absence on the now-familiar poster, which has apparently caused much confusion for the fanboys and girls out there.

I also realize that I’m probably not the only one who’s going this way with it. I’d imagine there’s no shortage of related arguments on reddit. But I’m less interested in the what of it than the why of it.

Poster clues aside, I’ve got two fundamental reasons why Luke Skywalker not is, but should be the bad guy if the most cynical of us are ever going to reinvest in this thing.

1. A story is only as good as its villain.

And that villain must be capable. The most badassiest dude in the galaxy. If Luke Skywalker isn’t that dude, then who is? Are we really to believe that there was another dark lord(s) elsewhere in the galaxy at the end of Return of the Jedi? If so, why weren’t they involved?

A villain is weightless in a story unless we can believe he’s capable of evil. No threat equals no conflict; no conflict equals no story. This weightlessness is most evident in the laughable prequels, which, unlike the originals, lacked any primal sense of evil intentions by anybody. George Lucas’ intention was to create that sense of evil through our familiarity with Darth Vader, but it failed. Anakin came across as nothing more than a teen with angst staying out past his bedtime to ride his motorbike.

There was also an attempt to find that needed threat in the form of Darth Maul, but that failed as well. Primarily because we never had enough time to invest in the guy long enough to be threatened by him. He came out of nowhere, and his threat wasn’t earned. Darth Maul was nothing more than a tacked-on device that we were asked to accept in order for the story to work. It didn’t.

So, again, are we really going to be asked to accept that there was some other random antagonist in this galaxy that is only rearing his ugly head now? If so, do we care? Do we feel threatened? I don’t.

2. The story of the fall of the Jedi has yet to be properly told.

Back in 1997, when the prequels were announced, there was nobody more excited than me. I was a bigger fan of Star Wars than most of you ever thought you were. I read all the scripts in the mid-nineties, pulling them down from the web via telnet before you ever had your first modem. I even played timpani to the original soundtrack’s “The Throne Room” theme at my first wedding in 1993. You’ve got nothing on me when it comes to Star Wars fandom, no matter how many AT-AT bedsheets you soiled when you were six.

The first of the three prequels was set to be released in May 1999. During those couple years that preceded it, I was online 24/7 hosting websites. They called us, affectionately enough, webmasters. With my ego ruling my own private galaxy, I spent countless hours (seriously, go look at my Netscape history) following the day-by-day unfoldings of the project on starwars.com, which back then was nothing more than a table-based static HTML site. In my vintage www geekiness, I was thoroughly informed by George Lucas’ basic vision for the prequels, which were, in essence, the story of a FALLEN JEDI. The entity we knew as Darth Vader was once a powerful Jedi knight, seduced by the Dark Side of the Force, becoming the emperor’s most powerful henchman. How could this trilogy not be good? Darth Vader, the fallen angel? For those who don’t remember, the third episode was originally to be entitled, “The Fall of the Jedi”. Put me down for that.

That all failed in a big way. You know the details. The confusing trade federations, the senseless embargos, the midichlorians, the annoying kid, Jar Jar. But as bad as those movies were in so many areas, the thing that broke my heart most was that the core story of the fallen Jedi — the story I’d been looking forward to — was never properly told. I was left blueballed.

Episode VII presents the opportunity to take a mulligan on all that. To finally tell this thing effectively. It’s a story worth telling.

SPITBALL: Let’s burn the prequels. Forget about Anakin, and demote him to a trivia question. Reboot the whole thing. Tell that beautiful story of the fallen Jedi, but make our boy Luke the centerpiece.

This arguably makes the story even more powerful than originally envisioned, since we already know first-hand what Luke is capable of. Hell, the dude levitates spaceships and outwilled the emperor. We know Luke, we love Luke, we’re already invested in Luke. Not only as the ultimate master of the Force, but as a human, with emotions, dreams, and fears. There’s nothing Luke can’t do if he sets his mind to it. We also know that the potential to fall from grace runs in his family. Yoda warned of this.

Again, a story is as only as good as its villain. If that villain is Luke Skywalker, then Star Wars may very well have just been awakened from the dead. It actually might not suck. Imagine that.

Originally posted April 2, 2008.

I’m going to the motherland tomorrow for a long weekend. Honolulu, where it all began. For me, anyway. Pop’s getting inducted to the Punahou Athletic Hall of Fame. I finally spent a couple hours this weekend scanning some of the materials my old man gave me. Below are a few of the letters of his recommendation submitted to the Hall from coaches and teammates. One name you may already know: Uncle Norm Chow.

I have a vague memory of Mike Lum, the big lefthand stick my old man was once teammates with. Mike went on to play in the bigs with the Cubs, the Braves, and the Cincinnati Reds. One night my dad took me to a Dodger game to play the Reds here in Los Angeles. It was my generation’s good old Dodger days; Garvey, Lopes, Cey, Yeager, Baker, et al. Pop’s buddy Mike was in town. I must’ve been about six or seven years old. We went to the game, Mike had a hit. After that, the only memories I have were waking up on my dad’s shoulder in a dark hotel lounge. Dad and I were chilling with a bunch of guys in leisure suits holding cocktails. One of them, Uncle Mike, gave me the old “pat the buddy’s kid on the head and pretend like you mean it” maneuver, along with a baseball signed by the Cincinnati Reds. I’d imagine they had several barrels of those balls for the guys to use on these types of occasions.

To put things in an on-field perspective: a traveling U.S. team of fourteen players was chosen to play Japan back in 1961, with talent pulled from two states in the union, California and Hawaii. Mike and Dad both came from the Hawaii pool. Mike Lum batted fourth. Pop? Third. THAT DUDE HAD STICK.

Below, some of the paperwork involving the induction gig:

[click to continue…]