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Will I live to be 80?

This just in from Mummy via M:

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I asked, “Do you think I’ll live to be eighty?”

“Do you smoke tobacco?” he asked. “Or drink beer, wine, or hard liquor?”

“No,” I replied. “I’m not doing drugs, either.”

“Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”

“Not much,” I said. “My former doctor said that red meat is very unhealthy.”

“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun?” he asked. “You know, playing golf? Boating? Sailing? Hiking? Bicycling?”

“No,” I replied.

“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have lots of sex?”

“No,” I repeated.

The doctor looked at me and asked, “Then why do you even give a shit?”

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