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A snail is walking down the street one day when he’s assaulted by two turtles.

After the altercation, the snail sees a police officer and says, “Excuse me, Officer. I was just jumped by two turtles.” The officer pulls out his notepad and says, “OK, can you tell me what they looked like?” The snail replies, “I can’t remember. The whole thing happened so fast.”

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