My favorite smells grew stronger. Pine needles, ocean air, cut grass, beef jerky, peanut butter, bacon, fried chicken. I marched up the final tunnel, drawn like a wasp to the radiant glow that waited at its end. Closer. Brighter.

“You’re here, Thirteen. Go ahead.”

I dashed out of the tunnel and into the light, the freshest breeze filling my jowls. Squinting through the sunshine I ran, the grass a cushion beneath my paws. I left my feet and flew…

— Under Angels the novel

Live Premiere. On May 5th 2019, Tool performed the full version of “Descending” for the first time at Welcome To Rockville 2019. The new song will feature on the new Tool album, which will be released at the earliest in August or September.

55 light years away, captured with a planet-sized network of telescopes. I wonder if it’s still there.

Super Dave Osborne, aka Bob Einstein and Albert Brooks’ big brother, has died.

I was just talking about Super Dave with a friend over the holidays. We both shared a joke of his that’s stuck with us. Here’s one he told on Letterman back in the late eighties that I’ll never forget:

A barber opens up his shop one morning and a Catholic priest walks in.

“I’ll take a haircut and a shave,” the priest says.

The barber sits him down, gives him a haircut and a shave, and dusts him off.

“How much do I owe you?” the priest says, taking out his wallet.

“No charge, Father,” says the barber. “I don’t accept money from men of the cloth.”

“God bless you, son,” says the priest. He leaves.

The barber finishes up his day, goes home, comes back the next morning, and there are seven bottles of wine waiting for him in front of his shop.

“Nice,” he thinks. “Sure pays to do a good deed.”

The barber opens up his shop, gets set up, and a Baptist minister walks in.

“I’ll take a haircut and a shave,” the minister says.

The barber sits him down, gives him a haircut and a shave, and dusts him off.

“How much do I owe you?” the minister says, taking out his wallet.

“No charge,” says the barber. “I don’t accept money from men of the cloth.”

“Praise the Lord,” says the minister. “Thank you.” The minister leaves.

The barber finishes up his day, goes home, comes back the next morning, and there are seven boxes of chocolates waiting for him in front of his shop.

“Two for two,” he thinks. “Sure pays to do a good deed.”

The barber opens up his shop, gets set up, and a rabbi walks in.

“I’ll take a haircut and a shave,” the rabbi says.

“Have a seat,” the barber says. “And just so you know, this one’s on the house. I don’t accept money from men of the cloth.”

The barber gives the rabbi a haircut and a shave and dusts him off.

“Thanks,” says the rabbi. “Have a great day.” The rabbi leaves.

The barber finishes up his day, goes home, comes back the next morning, and there are seven rabbis waiting for him in front of his shop.