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The Two Black Eyes

So two guys, each with a black eye, are sitting in a bar. They look at each other and notice that they each have a shiner.

The first guy says, “Hey! You’ve got a black eye too! What the hell happened?”

The second guy answers, “It’s kind of embarrassing. But I tell ya what. I’ll tell you how I got my black eye if you tell me how you got yours.”

The first guy agrees. “Sure.”

So the second guy says, “Well, this morning I was at the airport at the ticket counter. The gal behind the counter had a tremendous rack going on. I mean, really distracting. Now, what I meant to say was ‘I need a ticket to Pittsburgh.’ What I actually said was, ‘I need a picket to Tittsburgh.’ The gal clocked me one right then and there.”

The first guy relates. “Hey, innocent mistake. Could happen to anybody. I had a very similar experience myself.”

“What happened?” asks the second guy.

The first guy explains. “This morning I was at the breakfast table with my wife. Now, what I meant to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pass the Cheerios.’ What I actually said was, ‘You fucking bitch, you’ve ruined my whole life.'”

13 comments… add one
  • Steph July 25, 2007, 2:28 pm

    Hahahahaha. Hahaha. Ha. Ahhhhh.

    side note- I hear Tittsburgh is lovely this time of year.

  • jaced.com July 25, 2007, 2:38 pm

    It’s true. The popularity of that place peaks during the summer months.

  • Steph July 25, 2007, 4:30 pm

    Yes. Although, I hear cold weather also rouses a visible interest in Tittsburgh.

  • jaced.com July 25, 2007, 9:20 pm

    Stop it. You’re making me bust up over here.

  • winni July 25, 2007, 9:52 pm

    …such titilating comments!

  • jaced.com July 25, 2007, 10:43 pm

    You ain’t kiding. I mean kidding. With a double d.

  • winni July 26, 2007, 7:28 am

    …good way for me to keep abreast of what’s happening…

  • jaced.com July 26, 2007, 7:40 am

    Anything I can do to help. I’ll go ahead and continue to heave the information over your way so you can implant it into your memory. Unless, of course, that’s not your cup of tea.

  • winni July 26, 2007, 6:55 pm

    implant into my mammary??? huh?!

  • winni July 26, 2007, 7:42 pm

    silly me…you said “memory”…i feel like such a boob!

  • jaced.com July 26, 2007, 9:47 pm

    After a couple days, it’s nice to see how you’re continuing to cleave to this discussion.

  • winni July 27, 2007, 7:02 am

    …it was really fun hanging out with you. thanx, bra!

  • jaced.com July 27, 2007, 9:10 am

    My pleasure. It was a tremendously distracting experience.

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