So two guys, each with a black eye, are sitting in a bar. They look at each other and notice that they each have a shiner.
The first guy says, “Hey! You’ve got a black eye too! What the hell happened?”
The second guy answers, “It’s kind of embarrassing. But I tell ya what. I’ll tell you how I got my black eye if you tell me how you got yours.”
The first guy agrees. “Sure.”
So the second guy says, “Well, this morning I was at the airport at the ticket counter. The gal behind the counter had a tremendous rack going on. I mean, really distracting. Now, what I meant to say was ‘I need a ticket to Pittsburgh.’ What I actually said was, ‘I need a picket to Tittsburgh.’ The gal clocked me one right then and there.”
The first guy relates. “Hey, innocent mistake. Could happen to anybody. I had a very similar experience myself.”
“What happened?” asks the second guy.
The first guy explains. “This morning I was at the breakfast table with my wife. Now, what I meant to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pass the Cheerios.’ What I actually said was, ‘You fucking bitch, you’ve ruined my whole life.'”