Lots planned for the next few days. Gonna turn this place on its ass, tear down some walls, and get some new smells in here. Lots of details to discuss and photos to take, but for now, some basics. If only for my own reference.

Basic idea: Taking a 3BR 1945 California bungalow crib originally designed for a WWII surviving soldier and his wife with 2.5 kids, and converting it into a 2BR place for a person like myself in 2007.

The lot’s 6000 square feet with a huge backyard for the dogs. A detached garage is in the backyard, and is where I’ve spent most of my time in recent years. That’s gonna change.

The main house is about 1000 square feet, with way too many walls and door jambs. Makes sense for the family of four and a half in the forties, but makes little sense in my situation. The walls ultimately compartmentalize a living area that I’d rather have wide open, airy, with long diagonal views. Separate rooms create too much wasted space; knocking down these walls turns otherwise useless rooms into valuable space I’ll use every day.

If the time ever comes where I need more rooms, I’ll just go up and take advantage of the panoramic views of Catalina, ocean sunsets, downtown Long Beach, Palos Verdes, and the Los Angeles skyline.

And so we embark. Below’s an embarrassingly crude sketch of the floor plan, which is by no means drawn to scale. The key to this project will be to obliterate the walls separating the narrow living room with the first bedroom, as well as the wall between the living room and kitchen. The result will be one large living area integrating the kitchen, dining, and living room. Think loft vibe. I hate the idea of a house as a series of rooms; I prefer thinking of a house of a sequence of places. TEAR DOWN THE WALLS!!!

I’ll be doing my best to take before, during, and after photos of this project. It’ll be fun to check them out someday.

OK, what I have now. Notice the walls in black:

Rough idea of what’s gonna happen, minus details. Note that the lowered ceiling area is set up to the Golden Ratio!:

And the lighting. OMG. Stay tuned…

“Hey Jace, why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying. I’m laughing. Well, actually I am crying. Tears of laughter.”

“What’s so funny?”

“Next to this one from Finland, I’m almost positive that this one from 1977 is without a doubt the best disco video I’ve ever seen.”

“Blue Brother”
A cold winter morning, a bad mood, a camera phone, and Photoshop
2007

It happens every year whether you’re conscious of it or not. It usually happens sometime in late August or early September, right around those weeks where the summer heat’s starting to get a little old, yet you’re not quite ready to kiss it goodbye yet. It can be triggered by a smell, the sunset that evening, a certain song, or even just a basic thirst for change. And it usually happens in a split second. Like a warm breeze that brushes across your face before disappearing into the longer-than-yesterday’s afternoon shadows.

It’s that first vibration of my favorite and most creative season of the year, Fall, and I’ve noticed that I feel it a few weeks earlier than most people. Colors start reminding me of Halloween. I start paying more attention to which ballclubs are in the hunt for the pennant. I start missing the smell of turkey and stuffing. I can almost hear the faint sounds of silver bells.

It’s a moment that only happens once a year. I just had mine.

Fall 2007. Bring it on.

Tighten it up!

The most frequent prepositional sin is to replace one good, terse word with a stack of prepositional phrases. The worst prepositional train wrecks crop up in legal writing, with its hereinbelows, with respect theretos, and thereins. But lawyers are hardly the only offenders. Have you ever counted the number of ways windy writers and speakers avoid the direct adverb now?

• as of now
• at present
• at this point in time
• for the time being
• in this day and age
• in the not-too-distant future

Of course, none of these beats Alexander Haig’s all-time worst way not to say now: “at this juncture of maturization.”

Anytime you can replace a cluster of words with one elegant one, do it. Use before instead of “prior to” or “in advance of”. Use because instead of “due to the fact that” or “in light of the fact that”. Use imagination rather than “in the eye of the mind” and my thinking instead of “I’m thinking in the direction of”. Scour your writing for prepositional barnacles worthy only of being scraped away, and replace them with simpler words:

in regard to → about
with reference to → about
the approximate amount of → about
in the interest of → for
for the purpose of → for
in order to → to
in the event that → if
a lot of → many
a great number of → many
the reason is because → because
according as to whether → whether
neat in appearance → neat

Many setups can be replaced by a simpler, shorter word: “He was conveyed to his place of residence in an intoxicated condition” is itself reeling with prepositions; “He was carried home drunk” is better.

(Also,) beware of the parasitic of, which sucks blood from the following phrases:

• How big of a deal was her departure?
• She wasn’t that good of an editor.
• He gave all of his property.
• Outside of the office, he was a real card.
• Get down off of that table if you expect me to come home with you.

Source: Constance Hale, “Sin and Syntax”

Source: Thomas Lang

While a synonym is a word that has the same meaning as another, an antonym is a word opposite in meaning to another, and a homonym is a word that has the same spelling and pronunciation as another but differs in meaning, a contronym is any word with two conflicting definitions, making it both a homonym and an antonym of itself simultaneously. Cool.

Examples:

bad (good, slang)
bad (not good)

bound (bound for Chicago, moving)
bound (tied up, unable to move)

buckle (to hold together, fasten)
buckle (to collapse or fall apart)

citation (award for good behavior)
citation (penalty for bad behavior)

cleave (to cut apart)
cleave (to seal together)

clip (attach to)
clip (cut off from)

cut (get into a line)
cut (get out of a class)

dust (remove dust)
dust (to apply dust, as in fingerprinting)

fast (moving rapidly)
fast (in fixed position, unmoving)

left (remaining)
left (having gone)

moot (arguable)
moot (not worthy of argument)

overlook (watchful control)
overlook (failure to notice)

Created by G.H. Fischer

A word of warning to those who shop regularly at Costco. I’ve fallen victim to a pretty clever scam that has apparently affected others. It’s happened to me, and it can happen to you too.

Here’s how the scam works:

While you’re leaving the store and walking through the parking lot, two attractive young ladies in skimpy T-shirts and hot pants come over to your vehicle as you are loading your goods. To break the ice, both gals begin wiping your windshield down with rags and Windex. When you thank them and offer them a few bucks for their time, they refuse the offer, and instead ask for a ride to another location several miles away. You oblige, thinking everything’s fine, and the three of you pile into the car. As you’re leaving the parking lot, the two ladies begin shedding what’s left of their clothing and crank up the stereo as a diversion. One of them then performs oral sex on you while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Friday, yesterday, and most likely again tomorrow.