As transcribed by CNN.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. [click to continue…]

Martin Luther King would’ve loved this.

In this latest installment of CBS News Assignment America, Steve Hartman visits an animal sanctuary where a dog and an elephant have formed a very lasting, and unusual, friendship.

“There is no use writing anything that has been written before unless you can beat it. What a writer in our time has to do is write what hasn’t been written before, or beat dead men at what they have done.”
–Ernest Hemingway

Footage of two mongers named François Bon and Antoine Montant doing the world’s first speedflying descent of Mount Eiger in Switzerland. INFUCKINGSANE.

“All men dream, but not equally. They who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it is vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.”
–T.E. Lawrence

Middle of January, and we’re pushing ninety degrees here in Los Angeles. Reminds me of one of my favorite Zones. Part 1 of 3:

Via comicvsaudience, a comprehensive chart showing the flowpath of heavy metal band name origins. My favorite’s a toss-up between Religion -> Biblical -> From the Book of Revelation and Badass Misspellings -> Foreign Sounding -> Actually Foreign.

Bravo. Artist credits on image; click for larger version.

“Here at Apple we like to think we’re giving customers features they don’t even realize they want yet.”

That Onion. Tear-jerkingly genius, as always.