Jace Daniel: Storyteller, Author, Media Designer

Rewriting

Jumped on a conference call today and took a 3-hour class on rewriting. Some notes for future reference; not a bad idea to review ’em for every script that goes out.

*PURPOSE OF REWRITE*

1. Fulfilling your VISION and the original PITCH. The script had better match the pitch.

2. SOLVING the PROBLEMS in the script.

3. ELEVATE the QUALITY of the script.

*THE 7 LAYERS OF THE SCRIPT* (from bottom up)

1. STORY. This is the foundation. Must be present in every single moment of the script. Includes:

— concept
— theme
— structure
— plot

2. CHARACTER. Lead character(s) typically will take up 80-90% of the script. Use these leads to lure an A-list actor. Cause CONFLICT between the lead and antagonist.

3. SITUATION. Look at opportunities to put talking heads in a weird situation. How does this make the script different?

4. ACTION.

5. DIALOGUE.

6. WORDS. Example discussed: Consider Jules and Vincent in the second scene of Pulp Fiction. (burger, foot massage, briefcase, Bible verse.) Now look at the Story layer. This scene is a setup for the Jules arc, which ends at the diner at the end of the film. Now take a look at the Character (#2) layer. The unrelated Dialogue about burgers and foot massages has nothing to do with the Action at hand (i.e. a mob hit), yet reveals much about the STORY and CHARACTER layers beneath the SURFACE. Quentin did this intentionally. OBSERVATION: Don’t cram shit into the Dialogue. If you effectively flesh out the STORY and ACTION and CHARACTER beneath the surface, you become a FREE bird with the Dialogue layer. ANALYSIS: Study ONLY the dialogue in the second scene of Pulp Fiction. Notice that, if you were blind, you’d have no idea that a mob hit was going down.

7. SUBTEXT. Fertilize Levels 1-5 with tons of it.

Put the MEANING beneath the surface.

EDITING is using what you ALREADY HAVE to make it the BEST IT CAN BE.

REWRITING is IMPROVING MAJOR and MINOR parts of the first 5 levels.

Continue to be CREATIVE ON LEVELS 1-4 as you rewrite and your script will kick ass in the end.

*LEVEL 1: MAKE SURE THE STORY WORKS.*

1. Get clear on your STRUCTURE. List the beats, then provide a one-sentence for logline for each.

2. Present your audience/reader with an unforgettable CONFLICT.

KEY ingredient: What is the EMOTIONAL DILEMMA?

3. Write the story on ONE PAGE until you are completely inspired. NOTE TO SELF: This is a great exercise to do AFTER YOUR FIRST DRAFT or three. Allow yourself to vomit the story up first. Then stop, back up, review your original VISION and pitch, and draft up a one-sheet synopsis of the story you just wrote. Two versions will kick the door down and get you to the next phase. Try two versions of the one-sheet:

VERSION 1: A BOOK REPORT OF THE PREVIOUS DRAFT.

VERSION 2: THE VISION OF WHAT THIS STORY CAN BECOME.

4. Then, from the one-sheet, draft up more detailed OUTLINE. Six pages or so. Make sure the outline is the THE BEST EXPRESSION OF THE PITCH.

KEY: Use the LOGLINE and the ONE-SHEET to keep the story on track in the outline..

5. Are there any PROBLEMS that need to be solved?

KEY: Solve them on LEVEL 1 (STORY), not LEVEL 5 (DIALOGUE). One of the biggest mistakes noobs make is addressing Dialogue first in the rewrite. This should actually be the last thing you do. Get the first layers done first. Again, Dialogue shouldn’t be on the nose, and should never tell the Story. The Story should be beneath the surface, and the Dialogue dances above the surface. (Pulp Fiction, second scene.)

6. List out the SUBPLOTS.

Do they either GO WITH or GO AGAINST the plot? If they don’t, cut ’em.

*LEVEL 2: ELEVATE YOUR CHARACTERS*

7. Make sure your CHARACTER PROFILES are PERFECT.

KEY: COMPELLING CORE TRAITS equal compelling characters. Don’t give ’em quirks; give ’em traits. (e.g. talker, expressive, silent type, shy, angry, political, religious, etc.)

8. Make sure your lead characters are UNIQUE in some significant way.

KEY: For your lead characters, aim for three familiar traits, and one OUT OF THE BOX. So, for instance, a doctor can be analytical, smart, and compassionate… and, say, an ACTIVIST FOR ASSISTED SUICIDE. (Kevorkian.)

9. Check each of your main characters to make sure they have SUBTEXT. Give them something they’re HIDING or NOT TALKING ABOUT that is relevant to the story.

10. Improve one RELATIONSHIP at a time.

— protagonist and antagonist
— protagonist and love interest
— protagonist and supporting characters
— antagonist and love interest
— antagonist and supporting characters

11. Character relationships that work:

A. Are there any SIMILARITIES to build rapport?
B. Are there DIFFERENCES that cause conflict?
C. Do they have COMPETING AGENDAS that increase the subtext and conflict?

12. Character journeys we care about:

What is their INDIVIDUAL JOURNEY?

Compare the PROTAGONIST to the ANTAGONIST.

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS cause some change for lead characters. Keep ’em supportive, but at some point, they must DO SOMETHING TO IMPACT THE LEAD. Examples: They tell them something, they take an action, they cause the lead to rethink, etc.

13. Introduce lead characters POWERFULLY.

Think of the lead as an ADVERTISEMENT FOR AN A-LIST ACTOR.

14. How do your main characters END now? Less than stellar? Ask yourself: Do they need to be SET UP more powerfully?

CHARACTER PROFILE:

A. TRAITS
B. SUBTEXT
C. FLAW
D. MOTIVATION (external goal; internal need)
E. LOGLINE (one for each character)

LEAD CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS (Geoffrey Rush example; first three pages of Shakespeare in Love)

1. Put him in an INTERESTING SITUATION. Not just description. Challenge character in a big way.

2. Show his INITIAL ACTION.

3. Make sure he has great INITIAL DIALOGUE.

4. Use DESCRIPTION to fill in the gaps.

*LEVEL 3: CREATING CHALLENGING SITUATIONS*

15. How can my situations CHALLENGE my lead characters?

Situation = CIRCUMSTANCES YOU PUT YOUR CHARACTERS IN. If you see a scene that doesn’t have an interesting situation, fix it. You can challenge their goals, their values, their safety, their performance, etc.

Every scene is another opportunity to RE-ENGAGE THE READER.

16. Write through INTEREST. Make every single page more interesting. Twists, surprises, misleading, setups, etc.

Look at every scene and ask, “Does this situation ENTERTAIN?” Does it make us worry? afraid? tense? laugh? question?

*LEVEL 4: ACTION WITH MEANING*

17. Two types of Action:

A. VISUAL action.

B. MEANINGFUL action. The action delivers the MEANING of the scene.

Ask yourself:

1. What is the MEANING?

2. How can I deliver that MEANING THROUGH ACTION?

*LEVEL 5: ENTERTAINING DIALOGUE*

18. Dialogue is not about TELLING THE STORY. Dialogue accomplishes:

A. Dialogue DELIVERS CHARACTER.
B. Dialogue is ENTERTAINING.
C. Dialogue can POINT TO SUBTEXT. Reminds us of what’s beneath the surface. Irony, sarcasm, etc.
D. Dialogue CREATES ANTICIPATION.

19. Unique Character Dialogue. UNIQUE VOICES! Note the character’s traits (e.g. deceitful, revenge-oriented, liar, violent, etc.), and go through each line. Represent that profile in the dialogue. If there’s not, rewrite it. Juxtapose the trait with the dialogue. EVERY LINE.

Great exercise for the character polish:

A. Isolate ONE LINE AT A TIME of Character A.
B. Rewrite as you think through ONE CHARACTER AT A TIME only.
C. One character PER DAY. Then sleep her off. Hit the next one tomorrow.

90 minutes a day, one day for each character. It’ll tighten the voices.

LEVEL 6: WORDSMITHING THAT SELLS

20. Basic wordsmithing = grammar, spelling, formatting, word choice, etc.

Success = A FAST READ!!!

1. GET IT IN GLANCES. STACK THE ACTION. ONE LINE FOR EACH PIECE OF ACTION.

2. MORE MEANING, FEWER WORDS.

21. Creating MEMORABLE LINES that sell your script. (Do this 2-3 times per script.)

A. Go to the 5 MOST EMOTIONAL MOMENTS IN YOUR SCRIPT. Read the scene. It’ll get to a peak… now look at the VERY NEXT LINE of dialogue. What does it do? Make it AMAZING. (e.g. “You had me at hello,” “Frankly, my dear…” etc.) Memorable lines are about EMOTIONAL TIMING. Drop them in at the emotional peaks for maximum effect.
B. GO BACK TO THE LEAD’S OPENING DIALOGUE LINES.
C. GO BACK TO THE OPENING LINES OF THE SCREENPLAY. Think of these lines as your personal introduction to any producer.

In his excellent book Stealing Fire from the Gods, author James Bonnet presents a cool study that maps out the “hidden truth” of story using a series of circular models. One of these models is something he’s dubbed the Storywheel, which shows all the cycles of change and growth we experience from birth to zenith and from zenith to death (or nadir). Bonnet suggests that every great story, ancient or modern, has a place on the wheel, and every type of story has something to do with guiding us to higher states of being.

Here’s one design that shows the different types of stories (myth, fairy tale, legend, classic, etc.), and where they fall in the counterclockwise cycle:

storywheel

Here’s another design that lists examples of popular stories, and where they fall within those story types:

storywheel

Great stuff. For more info, pick up the book. Highly recommended.

Happy K-9 Veterans Day, little soldiers.

From the Under Angels adapted screenplay.

Get the Under Angels novel here.

How we see dogs

=view large image=

(via Internet)

Poetiscape w/ Rich Ferguson and Jace Daniel

Big thanks to Rich Ferguson for having me on his show Poetiscape today. We talked about everything from music to writing to structure to Smith Magazine to Tool to the Fibonacci Sequence to Raymond Carver to dive bars to earthquakes to Orson Wells to finding the love of your life in the most magical, unpredictable of circumstances. Recorded March 10, 2013.

Listen to internet radio with rarebirdradio on Blog Talk Radio

Pixar’s 22 Rules of Storytelling

Via aerogrammestudio:

These rules were originally tweeted by Emma Coates, Pixar’s Story Artist. Number 9 on the list – When you’re stuck, make a list of what wouldn’t happen next – is a great one and can apply to writers in all genres.

1. You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.

2. You gotta keep in mind what’s interesting to you as an audience, not what’s fun to do as a writer. They can be very different.

3. Trying for theme is important, but you won’t see what the story is actually about til you’re at the end of it. Now rewrite.

4. Once upon a time there was ___. Every day, ___. One day ___. Because of that, ___. Because of that, ___. Until finally ___.

5. Simplify. Focus. Combine characters. Hop over detours. You’ll feel like you’re losing valuable stuff but it sets you free.

6. What is your character good at, comfortable with? Throw the polar opposite at them. Challenge them. How do they deal?

7. Come up with your ending before you figure out your middle. Seriously. Endings are hard, get yours working up front.

8. Finish your story, let go even if it’s not perfect. In an ideal world you have both, but move on. Do better next time.

9. When you’re stuck, make a list of what WOULDN’T happen next. Lots of times the material to get you unstuck will show up.

10. Pull apart the stories you like. What you like in them is a part of you; you’ve got to recognize it before you can use it.

11. Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your head, a perfect idea, you’ll never share it with anyone.

12. Discount the 1st thing that comes to mind. And the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th – get the obvious out of the way. Surprise yourself.

13. Give your characters opinions. Passive/malleable might seem likable to you as you write, but it’s poison to the audience.

14. Why must you tell THIS story? What’s the belief burning within you that your story feeds off of? That’s the heart of it.

15. If you were your character, in this situation, how would you feel? Honesty lends credibility to unbelievable situations.

16. What are the stakes? Give us reason to root for the character. What happens if they don’t succeed? Stack the odds against.

17. No work is ever wasted. If it’s not working, let go and move on – it’ll come back around to be useful later.

18. You have to know yourself: the difference between doing your best & fussing. Story is testing, not refining.

19. Coincidences to get characters into trouble are great; coincidences to get them out of it are cheating.

20. Exercise: take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How d’you rearrange them into what you DO like?

21. You gotta identify with your situation/characters, can’t just write ‘cool’. What would make YOU act that way?

22. What’s the essence of your story? Most economical telling of it? If you know that, you can build out from there.

Metallica: Ride the Lightning (full album 8-bit cover!)

Impossible not to smile. Hetfield in the style of Donkey Kong.

Fight Fire with Fire 0:00
Ride the Lightning 4:29
For Whom the Bell Tolls 10:57
Fade to Black 15:22
Trapped Under Ice 21:59
Escape: 25:52
Creeping Death 29:48
Call of Ktulu 36:24

Disabled basketball player gets his moment of a lifetime

Don’t miss the twist at the end. A clinic in grace and sportsmanship.

Kona two years

kona march 2011

I come from good roots. They gave us each just one name: Dash, Kona, Ace, Jackson. Ghost. My ancestors and friends are among the hundreds of four-legged soldiers to be trained here, and the first to be killed in the line of duty for the United States. Throughout the decades, dozens of us have been buried here at the K-9 Command Cemetery behind the fort’s chapel.

— Shadow, Under Angels, Chapter Eight

Love letter to all Rescue Persons

Gorgeous.

Once I was a lonely dog,
Just looking for a home.
I had no place to go,
No one to call my own.
I wandered up and down the streets,
in rain in heat and snow.
I ate what ever I could find,
I was always on the go.
My skin would itch, my feet were sore,
My body ached with pain.
And no one stopped to give a pat
Or to gently say my name.
I never saw a loving glance,
I was always on the run.
For people thought that hurting me
was really lots of fun.
And then one day I heard a voice
So gentle, kind and sweet,
And arms so soft reached down to me
And took me off my feet.
“No one again will hurt you”
Was whispered in my ear.
“You’ll have a home to call your own
where you will know no fear.”
“You will be dry, you will be warm,
you’ll have enough to eat
And rest assured that when you sleep,
your dreams will all be sweet.”
I was afraid I must admit,
I’ve lived so long in fear.
I can’t remember when I let
A human come so near.
And as she tended to my wounds
And bathed and brushed my fur
She told me ’bout the rescue group
And what it meant to her.
She said, “We are a circle,
A line that never ends.
And in the center there is you
protected by new friends.”
“And all around you are
the ones that check the pounds,
And those that share their home
after you’ve been found.”
“And all the other folk
are searching near and far.
To find the perfect home for you,
where you can be a star.”
She said, “There is a family,
that’s waiting patiently,
and pretty soon we’ll find them,
just you wait and see.”
“And then they’ll join our circle
they’ll help to make it grow,
so there’ll be room for more like you,
who have no place to go.”
I waited very patiently,
The days they came and went.
Today’s the day I thought,
my family will be sent.
Then just when I began to think
It wasn’t meant to be,
there were people standing there
just gazing down at me.
I knew them in a heart beat,
I could tell they felt it too.
They said, “We have been waiting
for a special dog like you.”
Now every night I say a prayer
to all the gods that be.
“Thank you for the life I live
and all you’ve given me.
But most of all protect the dogs
in the pound and on the street.
And send a Rescue Person
to lift them off their feet.”

~ Arlene Pace

The Numbers Station trailer #1

Since World War II, secret agents have received assignments from numbers stations…

Starring John Cusack. Out this year.

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