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Michael Vick Finds Jesus

Upon being indefinitely suspended from the NFL for organized dogfighting and executing pit bulls, quarterback Michael Vick has apparently found Jesus. On the same day his plea became official. Now that fucking heathen bastard can go spread Christ’s love to all the horny guys in the joint.

What a cop-out. This has got to be the most insulting thing I’ve heard in months.

Yo Vick, this is what Vive thinks of your new relationship:

Vive's pissed

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • thundy August 28, 2007, 3:10 pm

    ya know i can’t say i’m really suprised by this…

  • matt August 28, 2007, 4:08 pm

    Hope his bible is attached to a rope!!

  • thundy August 28, 2007, 4:23 pm

    ya know i used to like this guy too…i think i like orenthal better now.

  • thundy August 28, 2007, 4:24 pm

    dogs are gods…that why god spelled backwards is dog ; )

  • jaced.com August 28, 2007, 4:30 pm


    “A dog is the god of frolic.”
    — Henry Ward Beecher

  • lar August 28, 2007, 10:34 pm

    why, my heavens, we may have all finally found something upon which we all can agree……. what a creeep!!!!!!! unc

  • Vive August 28, 2007, 10:49 pm

    No shit. That son of a bitch can suck my neutered mutt dick.

  • jaced.com August 29, 2007, 7:27 am

    It seems my remarks about Michael Vick’s statement this week have ruffled feathers with some readers. My comments have been found to be “judgmental” and “venomous”. I can appreciate that.

    The fact is that I’m not sold. Unforgiving as it may be, I have no tolerance for these types of wastes of sperm and eggs that breed my pals to kill each other for sport, and when they don’t meet the requirements, get executed by unthinkably torturous means like electrocution, drowning, and getting gang banged to a pulp by four guys with baseball bats. Engaging in an argument with somebody on this topic is like arguing with a candle-holding protester at Ted Bundy’s vigil, calling me heartless and hate-filled. The irony is that they couldn’t be further from the truth. The degree of harshness — or “venomousness”, if you will — of my statements is a direct reflection of the degree of love and compassion I have for man’s best friend. True dog lovers don’t need me to explain further.

    People have been disturbed by my comments. I assure them that they’re nowhere near as disturbed as I am by this depraved subculture of dogfighting, and the Jesus cop-out that celebrities use as a last resort when standing in front of a judge facing a hard sentence. We’ve seen it from Paris Hilton to Charlie Sheen to Bill Clinton. (Remember when Bill started hauling a Bible around in public when the Lewinsky trial started heating up? Did you buy it?)

    People call my comments a mockery. The truth is that it’s Michael Vick’s device of “finding Jesus” that is the mockery here. I simply called it for what it is, and threw in a satirical twist for good measure.

    Judgmental, sure. For right now anyway. But I’ll make Michael Vick a deal:

    Go down to your local animal shelter and volunteer to clean up cages for a week. Then maybe rescue two or three mutts, take them home, and show them half the love that they’re ready to inevitably and unconditionally give you. I will happily take back my statements.

    That’s it. I’ve run out of moments and energy to devote to talking, thinking, or writing about Michael Vick. After all, I’ve got dogs that need breakfast.

    Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the other areas of the site.

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