Somebody showed this to me years ago. I just revisited it and worked out the math to get it right. I’m now logging for permanent reference, as the details can be easily forgotten with time.

Start with a normal jokerless deck of 52 cards. Consider each card as being numbered 1 through 13, with Aces being 1, Jacks being 11, Queens being 12, and Kings being 13.

1. Turn the first card face up. Declare the value of the card, and then continue to turn cards one at a time on top of it, counting up to 13. For instance, if the first turned card is, say, 7 of Diamonds, you declare “Seven,” and continue turning cards up while counting “…eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.”

2. Continue this process, making new stacks each time. When you’re done, you should have four or more separate stacks of cards, face up. You’ll likely have a few surplus cards in your hand, which you hold for the time being.

3. Turn all of the stacks face down.

4. Have a friend point to three of the stacks. Leave those three stacks where they are, and take the remaining stacks into your hand, holding them face down in your palm.

5. From the cards in your hand, deal ten cards face down into their own discard pile, counting out loud as you do so. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.”

6. Have a friend turn the top card over on one of the three stacks. Take the value of the card, and count cards from your palm into your discard pile. For instance, if your friend turned a 6 of Spades, count down six cards face down into your discard pile, declaring out loud, “One, two, three, four, five, six.”

7. Have your friend turn the top card over on another one of the stacks. That is, if it’s, say, a Jack of Hearts, count down eleven cards from your hand. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.”

You now have X amount of cards left in your hand, and one remaining stack down in front of your friend.

8. Deal the remaining cards you have in your hand into the discard pile, counting out loud. Say you have four cards left. “One, two, three, four.”

9. Have your friend turn the top card off that third stack.

Cool, right?

Some university researchers with the federal government’s blessing suggest scrapping this whole Internet thing and starting over with a clean slate.

Andreas points out that while they’re at it, perhaps they could explore draining our oceans and redistributing the world’s land mass to better suit our needs.

A Man’s World
by Jace D. Albao (b. 1969)

There once was a man who was unhappy with the world as he saw it.

As he watched this world, he found it filled with people who were dishonest and two-faced. Greed ran rampant in this corrupt place; trust was nowhere to be found. People in this world were judgmental, bigoted, and self-righteous. Hatred seemed to infect this world, making up its rules as it went along.

When the man turned to look at something else, he found people to be plastic, shallow, superficial, and ingenuine. Still other people were hurried, one-dimensional, and completely void of the ability to be real.

“This sucks,” he thought.

He turned once again in hopes of finding something of value, and was inundated with yet more people telling him what to do, what to buy, what to wear, where to go, and what to say when he got there.

“This sucks,” he thought again.

So the man got up from his couch, turned off his television, and lived happily ever after.

Friday the thirteenth,
April, two thousand seven.
Just another day.