“Chess for me is not a game, but an art. I take upon myself all those responsibilities which an art imposes on its adherents.”
– Alexander Alekhine

A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, and getting quite a few laughs. An irate Irishman stands up and exclaims, “You’re making out we’re all dumb and stupid! I oughtta punch you in the nose!”

The ventriloquist replies, “I’m sorry, sir. It’s all in good fun. I didn’t want to offend you.”

“Not you,” says the Irishman. “I’m talking to the little fella on your knee.”