Sitting at my computer after 10PM with dishwater evaporating from my fingers, I figure I’d drop in and bang out a few thoughts that have crossed my mind in the last hour or so.
I’ve been diving in to the new world of cooking for myself. Cooking for one. Those who’ve done it for extended periods of time know quite well that cooking for two or three people is a completely different game than cooking for one. In mechanical as well as social/spiritual/emotional ways.
Frustrations abound, starting with the shopping. The whole procedure of picking food up at the store and making efficient use of the stuff before it goes bad is a glaring challenge. For instance, do you have any idea how long it takes a single guy to eat one white onion without making onion rings? Or take sour cream. Unless I’m whipping up a quick stroganoff, the act of grabbing a pint of sour cream off the shelf must be accompanied by a quiet calculation of how I’m gonna use it before the expiration date. For me personally, sour cream is used in two situations: baked potato and Mexican food. So, as I examine the date on the underside of the sour cream container, I’m faced with the commitment of cooking something that involves a baked potato, or laying out some sort of Mexican food agenda for the next week. Otherwise, half of the sour cream is getting tossed, and I’ve wasted a buck forty-nine.
Speaking of Mexican food, would it be out of the question for these people to package up corn tortillas in sets less than thirty-six? Do they have any idea what kind of plan a guy needs to put together in order to eat thirty-six corn tortillas before they mold? NOT ALL OF US HAVE A DOZEN KIDS, YOU KNOW.
It’s become clear to me that the act of cooking for one is an awful lot like writing a story for an illiterate world, or painting a picture for closed eyes, or writing a song for deaf ears. It’s a pointless endeavor, unless:
a) You enjoy the solitary creative act itself, finding Zen in the mechanical process of it all.
b) You enjoy consuming what you’ve created. Alone. No witnesses, no audience, nobody to share it with. Self-indulgence.
So now with the Binary Floor pretty much wrapped up, I turned my attention to the floor where the wall between the living room and kitchen was. My original plan was to have my tile guy come in and give me a clean cut, and then I figured I’d go from there, doing something with wood, tile, or something else.
Juan came over the other day to have a look at it, and told me it’d only take him about ten minutes to do the cut. Within about a minute we both realized that we may as well just have him fix the whole thing, since I’d found left over black and white tiles in the shed. It’d take him under a couple hours. We’d just take out the last row, replace ‘em with whole tiles, and then do a continuation of the checkerboard pattern right up to the wood, with the final row of tiles being a few inches.
I live on a block that has been inhabited by wild peacocks for over half a century. They’re part of the landscape; on any given moment you can look out your window and see a couple of them nosing around your porch, or leaping across the backyard lawn from one garage’s roof to another. You’ll even see a mother (fyi: a dull grey peahen; the gaudy luminescent blue/green big-tailed cocks are the males) scooting down the sidewalk followed by four or five of her chicks, looking like the Partridge Family.
Visitors typically trip out that there are peacocks living in the neighborhood. Some folks won’t even believe you until they see them with their own eyes. It’s like they equate these majestic birds to mythical creatures like unicorns and centaurs.
Anyway, one of the most noticeable characteristics of these peacocks has gotta be the sound they make. They go off like clockwork in the morning, blurting and blaring a chorus of sound waves that Naylor accurately describes as “cats and dolphins with megaphones”.
Today, Sunday, they got up late. Really late. I either slept through their morning song, or they’ve been silenced for some reason.
And then, it dawned on me:
THE FIREWORKS THREW ‘EM OFF.
That’s right. This place is like a war zone during Fourth of July, an occasion that usually starts a few days prior and and lasts a couple days afterwards. The booms, which often go well into after hours, will wake the peacocks.
It’s been a few nights of this. It seems the peacocks are severely jetlagged, and haven’t had a good night’s sleep in about a week. This Sunday morning’s apparently been one they’ve used to play a little catch up on the snoozing, sleeping in until noon. I joined them.
Naylor’s been crashing at the house for the past couple and a half weeks or so. It’s been nice to have the company.
He’s also taken on the role of a consultant. Last week I took a page out of his book and have started to discover cooking. As with all the other unfamiliar household things I’ve been diving into this year, I’m learning that if you can take a household chore and turn it into an art project, I’m totally game. The kitchen jam is a whole nuther way to get your zen on.
Last night after grub, my consultant finally cracked, introducing some much needed blatantly honest objectivity about what has happened to my surroundings. I’ve been gradually knocking out the little things in the last year like, say, demolishing walls, framing soffits, building lattices, wiring Media Closets, and tonguing and grooving with Binary Floors, but I seem to have overlooked some basic things. Like, you know, OPENING THE CABINETS AND NOTICING WHAT’S INSIDE THEM.
The closets, cabinets, and drawers of the house have been train wrecks since before this day. I mean, really bad. It’s not anything I haven’t known, it’s just that I haven’t put it on the To Do List until last night.
Mike began with the “pantry” in the hallway. In it, in no particular order, remained items that I never personally put in there. It was riddled with everything from expired dog treats to vacuum cleaner bags to red vinegar to rice pilaf to three half-full bottles of Windex to a can of Trader Joe’s pumpkin olive chutney extract. Absurd. The first course of business was to empty the thing out, box up the pointless items for the food drive bin, and consolidate everything else to bring into the kitchen. We then designated that pantry to be the towel closet, freeing up the old towel closet for bedding stuff, which will in turn allow me to get rid of a dresser in the bedroom.
My consultant then took a long look at the kitchen and its cabinets. Again, a disaster area. The cabinet to the left of the sink was a cross between a medicine cabinet, a junk drawer, a tool chest, a place to stockpile receipts, and a spare area for glasses and mugs. The cabinet to the right was more of the same, but included plates and bowls, seven chopsticks, about thirty-nine pairs of wine glasses, a tape measure, and a Philips head screwdriver. Then there was a quasi-spice cabinet that couldn’t figure out what exactly it was trying to be.
We emptied those three cabinets out first, and designated shelves for focused purposes. Spices, herbs, and oils on one, a shelf for carbs like pasta and rice, a booze shelf, a designated dog section above the laundry area, and a Coffee Corner for all related paraphernalia.
We also moved the dinette set over the threshold into the kitchen, opening things up even more. That’s where it needs to be. I have no idea why I didn’t realize that earlier.
The next thing to address is the drawer situation, which is frightening. I’ll probably wake a few silverfish and spiders in the process. It’ll be the same drill; empty everything out of about a dozen drawers, figure out what I want to keep, consolidate it all into about three drawers, and then figure out what happens next. I also want to print out some artwork to line said drawers and the cabinets.
New leaves are a’turning. This is getting pretty nutty. Who’da thunk it? Between remodeling, carpentry, painting, and cooking, the next thing you know I’ll be cleaning the bathroom. Or even making a salad.
By the way, here’s an early peek at the Binary Floor after two coats of Varathane. Two more to coats to go, to be finished by this weekend for the Fourth. TIGOLE BITTIES.
You know that feeling when you’re sleeping and having an insanely gnarly dream that feels so real, and yet a dark corner of your mind realizes it’s only a dream, giving you total consciousness of the fact that you’re caught in some sort of limbo of awareness where you’re simultaneously being subjected to all the elements of the dream while also possessing the knowledge that the dream is just an isolated layer beneath a truer reality, almost inviting you to try controlling the outcome of the dream as if through magical powers, and part of you feels trapped, and another part of you doesn’t want to wake up, and that feeling, while so identifiable, dodges every possibility of being accurately described with any amount of adjectives available in the English language? You know that feeling?
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10 = 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
While sitting here pounding my Saturday morning espresso bomb, I spent a few minutes taking a personality test on Facebook called MyType. The series of True/False questions, based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), determines which of the sixteen personality types you fall under.
Turns out I’m the INTJ (Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging) type, or what the system labels as “The Free-Thinker”.
According to Wikipedia, notable INTJs (both fictional and real) include Aristotle, Ayn Rand, Isaac Newton, Sherlock Holmes, and — how cool is this? — J.R.R. Tolkien and his alter-ego, Gandalf.
INTJ
INTJs are strong individualists who seek new angles or novel ways of looking at things. They enjoy coming to new understandings. They are insightful and mentally quick; however, this mental quickness may not always be outwardly apparent to others since they keep a great deal to themselves. They are very determined people who trust their vision of the possibilities, regardless of what others think. They may even be considered the most independent of all of the sixteen personality types. INTJs are at their best in quietly and firmly developing their ideas, theories, and principles.
Living
The independent and individualistic INTJ manner appears early in life. As children, INTJs are often inwardly focused on their thoughts of the way the world is or ought to be; they enjoy day dreaming. They can be quite stubborn when information relayed to them by authorities, such as parents and teachers, contradicts what they believe. They are sure of their own belief system. INTJs are compelled to establish their own rules, boundaries, standards, and style.
Often at an early age, INTJs make a commitment to furthering their education. The life of the mind is very important to them. Examples abound of INTJs from economically or intellectually impoverished circumstances setting goals for themselves to continue in education, often earning the highest degree possible.
INTJ teenagers may be seen as serious and reserved young people who are labeled as bookworms by others. They set internal standards of achievement for themselves and often do well academically. Being sociable is a standard that they rarely think is worth their time and energy.
As adults, INTJs are focused on attaining their inner goals and standards. They set a particular course based on their theory of what ought to be. They work extremely diligently to accomplish what they feel is important. They enjoy what they do and see it as a challenge. They are not easily dissuaded and may regard others’ needs and wants as an impediment to attaining their objectives.
Learning and Working
INTJs learn best when they can design their won approach and when they are able to absorb themselves in an area that interests them. They tend to focus on systems, theories, and constructs relating to universal truths and principles. They prefer challenging teachers, ones who meet their standards. High grade-point averages and test scores tend to characterize INTJs, who like rigorous academic work. Learning needs to be a creative process. Rote memory can be dull and boring for the INTJ.
INTJs are diligent in pursuing new ideas and thoughts, and they exert effort to master a given subject. This makes INTJs particularly adept in most school situations. Because of their resourcefulness, thirst for knowledge, and inner needs, INTJs tend to find ways of acquiring knowledge. They gravitate toward libraries, public lectures, courses, and other learners and teachers - sources that offer them information and direction.
At work, INTJs use their conceptual strengths to analyze situations and then develop models to understand and anticipate through relentlessly to reach their goals. They will continue on with their plans, even in the face of adversity and data that might suggest to other more practical types that their goals are no longer feasible. By nature, INTJs are independent individualists. They see their visions so clearly that they are often surprised when others do not see things the same way. INTJs are strong at critiquing and as a result tend to notice the negatives. To them, a job well done should be reward enough in itself. They may neglect to comment favorably on others’ contributions.
INTJs tend to seek occupations that allow them to change the status quo and to design models to express their vision creatively. They desire autonomy and room for growth. They prefer to work in a place in which the future can be planned and where they can work for change in an organized manner.
Some occupations seem to be especially attractive to INTJs: computer systems analyst, electrical engineer, judge, lawyer, photographer, psychologist, research department manager, researcher, scientist, university instructor, and other occupations in which long-range vision is essential.
Loving
For INTJs, love means including someone in their vision of the world. INTJ men tend to be attracted to partners who enjoy living their lives with and outward vitality and zest. Perhaps it is to compensate for their internal, visionary focus that they often find partners who are more outgoing and may even run interference to help the INTJ deal with the day-to-day world. INTJ women, however, may seek someone more like themselves.
INTJs tend to have a model in mind of how their relationship ought to be. This is less a romantic vision than it is an idea that relates to how the relationship functions in a unique or special way. They tend to withhold their deep feelings and affections from the public and sometimes even from the object of their affections. They can be intensely loyal and caring, even though this is not always expressed in words. INTJs can be generous with their gifts if the gift fits their vision of what ought to be appreciated by their partner.
When scorned, INTJs retreat to their own world and may share none of their feelings with others. They may assume that there is a right way for a relationship to end and look for that. They act on the outside as if nothing has happened to them when indeed much has. They may lash out with criticisms of their former loved ones. It may take them a while to recover.
You enjoy your Cinco de Mayo last night? I spent mine partying with my friends: a hammer, a crowbar, Led Zeppelin, and Tecate. Lots of Tecate. Working past midnight, I threw myself into the task of pulling up the existing twenty hardwood strips and clearing the way for the Binary Floor. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I accomplished once I got moving. The more I do this stuff, the more I realize I’d probably be a carpenter in another life.
Below is a test layout. Next step is to do some precise math, figure out what needs cutting, and start getting busy setting, sanding, staining, and finishing.
Update: I’ve decided that the binary sequence will begin at the kitchen, working its way to the front door. That is, 00001 will be at the kitchen’s threshhold.
Special thanks to Hector for some direction, a loaned crowbar, and the finishing touches we plan to get to as soon as this weekend.
Here’s a little golden nugget of United States military history. A couple years ago we were taking a rare underground tour of the batteries at Fort MacArthur near the Port of Los Angeles. One of said batteries, Battery 241, resides beneath what is now the Korean Bell of Friendship. The battery is completely dark, coated with six decades of dust, dead cat bones, and mechanical debris, requiring flashlights and heavy shoes. We were lucky to find this relic face down in a forgotten dusty corner. A print-out of an F-15 fighter jet.
Jace D's World Wide Web Site is a completely mental product. It is made from pure lateral thought processes, distilled ideas, and 100% whole natural bits: past, present, and future.
ILLUSTRATOR WANTED
Writer of fiction with publishing connections seeks open-minded illustrator for serious projects aimed at blowing minds and changing worlds. =more=
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