For the last couple years, we in Los Angeles have been on a two-day-a-week lawn watering schedule. This is changing immediately to a three-day-a-week schedule after the city suffered massive fluctuations in water pressure that caused a series of water main breaks last summer. Nicely thought out, people.
Effective today, our assigned watering days are now based on our numerical addresses:
Customers whose street addresses end with an odd number — 1, 3, 5, 7, or 9 — are permitted to use their sprinkler systems on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Customers whose addresses end in even numbers — 0, 2, 4, 6, or 8 — are permitted to do so on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Addresses ending in fractions are treated as whole numbers and observe the same day restrictions as others on their same side of the street, (ie: 4321 ½ is regarded as 4321, an odd-numbered address.)
Great. Now we’re gonna have even more lopsided flooding problems with everybody watering their lawns on the same side of the street at the same time. Next thing you know we’re gonna need to multiply our address by three and divide it by the square root of our next-door neighbor. Carry the seven.