Let’s try something new for a moment.
I got a speeding ticket on August 3rd of this year, ruining my clean record and subjecting me to unjustly increased insurance premiums. Fortunately I was eligible for traffic school in the state of California, and was able to take an online course to have the ticket removed from my record. All I had to do was sign up, pay a fee, leave the computer on for about six hours, and answer some questions. I completed the course successfully, and received the following email:
from: GotoTrafficSchool
to: Jace Albao
date: 4 Nov 2007 16:22:01 -0800
subject: Thank you for taking our course
Jace Albao,
Congratulations! You have completed and passed our course.
Refer your friends to us and tell them to enter your referral code when they register online and they will get $2.00 off the course price.
As soon as they pay for the course you will be credited with a $5.00 commission fee!
You can cash-out at any time by clicking on the Make Money / Cash Out button located on the front page of the GoToTrafficSchool.com website (http://www.gototrafficschool.com).
The more people you refer, the more money you earn!!!
Your login information will remain active for a period of 1 year so that you may continue referring friends and family to GoToTrafficSchool.com
Your referral code is XF6F-KKEC
Sincerely,
GoToTrafficSchool.com
To begin, let me say that I couldn’t ask for a better online Traffic School program than GoToTrafficSchool.com, and I recommend it highly. The colors were tolerable, the thing seemed to work, and the service was exceptionally courteous. Which can be rare in this day and age. So it goes without saying that saving $2 off your fee (nearly 13% off!) is a calling you simply can’t ignore.
Knowing what I know from my own experience with GoToTrafficSchool.com and life itself, I would like to encourage you to push the limit. Speed up. Floor it. You know, live a little. It’ll get you there. Don’t miss out on what could conceivably be argued to be one of the most notable experiences a person could ever hope to have in a single lifetime. And in the spirit of giving it back and paying it forward, I will offer a twelve-ounce kickback* for each ticket you clear from your record at GoToTrafficSchool.com by way of my reference.
Remember, that’s referral code XF6F-KKEC. And don’t forget, when you get a speeding ticket, everybody wins.
I’ve also created a 120-page booklet outlining several unknown tricks to assist you in effectively answering all the questions correctly without actually knowing anything about the topic. Each page is packed with priceless techniques that will teach you everything you need to know, allowing you to ace this course in record time. Including:
- Learn how to configure your computer to not go to sleep for six hours or more.
- Understand the importance of clicking the Play buttons on all the demonstrations in order to be digitally tracked while preserving the illusion that you’re actually paying attention.
- Master creative uses of the patented “Go Back and Find Riff”, where you will use the CTRL-F keystroke (COMMAND-F on Macintosh) to quickly find the answers to multiple choice questions, after you’ve read them.
- Develop fundamental insight to the advantages of using search resources like Google and DMV.org on a second computer to quickly find answers that are unclear, without needing to jump around from window to window as you would if you were on a single computer.
- And much, much more.
Due in the Spring of 2008 I aim to have a DVD produced outlining the book’s material, taking the thing to a whole new level. Included on the 36-disc, set but not available in the booklet, are:
- Pictures
- Sound effects
- Intuitive demonstrations in the form of Claymation
So keep an eye out for that.
In the interest of keeping things as organized as possible, I’ve also created my own separate poker fund, which is now accepting contributions. Whatever you feel comfortable with. The choice is yours. Explore the unique opportunity to singlehandedly change my luck in your own special way. PayPal preferred.
Just throwing it out there.
*At an establishment of my choosing.
only a government could come up with a referral fee and commission for a public service.
You know, if things keep going in this direction, combining government with private enterprise, we’ll end up having wars that are fought by subcontracted private companies. Imagine that!
You could advertise your ad on a speed demon fansite and make a fortune!!!!!!!!!!
“To all you street racers out there…”
I’m in. I’ll be running red lights and gunning it on the way home today.
I also submit that the DVD set also contain a separate audio cd, making the entire set a 37-disc set, to contain a list of songs appopriate to the offense. Or, perhaps driving music. “Roam If You Want To”, “Baby, You Can Drive My Car,” “Speed Racer,” “Going the Distance…”