A Hawaiian local guy and a haole are hanging out at a bar. Being new to the islands, the haole is mispronouncing everything. The local graciously offers assistance.
LOCAL
In the Hawaiian language, it’s all about the vowels. As a matter of fact, every Hawaiian word ends in a vowel.
HAOLE
Really? I didn’t realize that.
LOCAL
Yeah, bra. Easy, eh? Along with the five vowels, we only use seven consonants: H, K, L, M, N, P, and W.
HAOLE
Simple enough.
LOCAL
The key to understanding da kine is to properly pronounce the vowels. In English, we pronounce the five vowels ‘Ay, Eee, I, Oh, Yu’. In Hawaiian, they’re pronounced ‘Ah, Ay, Eee, Oh, Ooh’.
HAOLE
Ah, I see. So A is ‘Ah’, E is ‘Eee’…
LOCAL
No. E is ‘Ay’.
HAOLE
Ah. OK. So A is ‘Ah’, E is ‘Ay’, I is…
LOCAL
‘Eee’. I is ‘Eee’
HAOLE
‘Eee’.
LOCAL
You got it, bra. I is ‘Eee’. O is ‘Oh’.
HAOLE
Oh. And U is ‘Yu’.
LOCAL
Ooh. U is pronounced ‘Ooh’. Not ‘Yu’. U is pronounced ‘Ooh’.
HAOLE
Ooh. OK. I get it now. ‘Ah, Ay, Eee, Oh,…Oooh.’
LOCAL
Ho, you learn fass, bra. Now you just put da kine together with the consonants. For your practice, I go spell something, and you try pronounce ’em.
HAOLE
OK, great! Go ahead.
LOCAL
Ay…
HAOLE
‘Ah.’
LOCAL
El Oh.
HAOLE
‘Ah Lo.’
LOCAL
H Ay.
HAOLE
‘Ah Lo Ha.’ Hah! Aloha!
LOCAL
Too good, you. Now try this: Em Ay…
HAOLE
‘Ma.’
LOCAL
H Ay.
HAOLE
‘Ma Ha.’
LOCAL
‘El Oh.’
HAOLE
‘Ma Ha Lo.’ Mahalo! That means thank you! I learned that on the plane. ‘Mahalo!’
LOCAL
Ho, you wan expert arreddy. Now try one advanced one: Pee I.
HAOLE
Pee I…hmm…’Pee?’
LOCAL
Pee Eee.
HAOLE
‘Pee Pay?’
LOCAL
El I.
HAOLE
‘Pee Pay Lee.’ This is easy.
LOCAL
En Eee.
HAOLE
‘Pee Pay Lee Nay. Pee Pay Lee Nay?’
LOCAL
Nice try, bra. But we call it Pipeline.
